I quickly get disgusted and angered by those who think people have to rationalize and beg for basic respect as a human being. Further, it often seems to only apply to the oppressed at any given intersection. The privileged are often the ones “rationing” respect because they have the power of every institution behind them supporting their decision to decide who can be respected or not, versus making respecting another human being their default position. But then again, that would require viewing them as human in the first place.
When people suggest that “you teach people how to treat you”, they are being willfully ignorant about imbalances in power, privilege and the fact that oppression confers a certain treatment of the oppressed regardless of how the oppressed behaves or feels about themselves.
The common rebuttal for this is “well it goes both ways” as a phrase that oppressors love. They view people rejecting their disrespect and bigotry and defending themselves against oppression as those people being “oppressive.” The most common use for “you teach people how to treat you” is for blaming a woman for a man choosing to abuse her, ignoring how patriarchy itself dictates that this is normal behavior, how her access to power and resources could greatly differ from his and how her leaving him will ALSO open the door to scorn since women are shamed for abuse in a relationship and shamed for being single. This is yet another patriarchal binary where men are not held accountable.
Yesterday, my 8 year old brother asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend. I simply told him I didn’t like boys, because boys have cooties. He wasn’t convinced, though. He looked me straight in the eye and asked if I had a girlfriend. I was shocked. I thought I did a pretty good job of keeping my sexuality to myself after coming out to my mom had backfired, but apparently not. I didn’t want to lie to him, so I just smiled and said I wish, but I don’t. He thought for a few minutes and then asked if that was why I didn’t dress like a girly girl, like my little sister. I told him yes, that’s part of it. And that was that. No further questions, he accepted it and went back to playing with his legos.
Today, I came home to a bag from Kohl’s laying on my bed with this blue shirt in it. I took it to my brother to have him hang it up, but he said it wasn’t his. He said he bought it with his birthday money for me while he was out with my stepdad, because it’s my favorite color. I told him I love it and gave him a hug. Before he ran off again, he made sure to whisper to me that it came from the boy’s section.
I’ve never felt more loved or accepted than I do today. I have the best brother in the whole world. (:
(Excuse my face, he insisted I made my “grr” face when I took this.)
Reblogging because that is just too cute.
The Trayvon Martin rally in NYC marched 30 blocks to Times Square
Thousands have now shut down Time Square staging a massive sit-in. Traffic stopped; no arrests so far.
THIS GATHERING WILL NOT EVER HAPPEN IN FLORIDA or any place in the South for social inequality’s or non white children’s deaths…….the only time you’ll ever see these supportive gatherings in the South will be for guns, god, greed, slavery, torture, oil, lynchings or marriages where incest and shotguns are the theme..
I just want to be Kitty when I grow up.
73 year old black man attacked onstage. after dedicating a song to trayvon martin.
Our babies and our grandparents are not safe
Wtf is happening?!?!
In response to those confused/upset by my Michael Vic tweet:
We (humans) have already established ourselves as head of the animal kingdom. We systematically slaughter millions of cows, chickens, pigs, sheep, rabbits etc., for food, clothing and whatever else our hearts may…